Get the Complete Uni Bundle for Only £34.99

Two Brothers, Two Very Different Student Kitchens — And Why That's Okay

Every student approaches cooking differently. This personal university cooking guide shares how my two sons are building confidence in the kitchen in their own ways, and why learning a few simple student meals can make the transition to independent living much easier.

STUDENT GUIDESPARENT GUIDES

Aisha Mello

9/9/20264 min read

white concrete building
white concrete building

Two Brothers, Two Very Different Student Kitchens — And Why That's Okay

One thing raising three boys has taught me is that you can raise children in exactly the same house and still end up with completely different human beings.

Food is no exception.

My two older sons are a perfect example.

Zen surprised me.

Yari challenged me.

And both of them have taught me something about what it actually means to prepare a young person to feed themselves at university.

The One I Didn't Expect to Become Adventurous

When Zen went away to university, I knew he'd manage.

But I don't think I expected him to become quite as creative with his food as he did.

He started sending me pictures.

"Mommy, look what I made."

And the food looked good.

Really good.

Beautifully presented.

Colourful.

Inventive.

He is an art student, so perhaps I should have expected his plate to become another canvas.

What I loved most wasn't even the presentation.

It was the initiative.

He was experimenting.

He was figuring things out.

He was making meals without me standing beside him telling him what to do.

And after years of wondering whether I'd done enough to prepare my boys in the kitchen, seeing those photographs made me incredibly proud.

Interestingly, though, even when the food looked wonderful, he still wasn't always completely confident.

He'd make something great and still want reassurance.

"Does this look right?"

"Do you think I did this properly?"

And that reminded me that being able to cook and feeling like a cook aren't always the same thing.

Confidence takes time.

Then There's His Brother

Yari is different.

He loves food.

But he's more traditional in what he likes.

He's less likely to experiment.

He enjoys fast food.

He thinks about cost.

A lot.

If one thing costs less than another, his instinct is often:

"Why wouldn't I just buy the cheaper one?"

And I understand that.

He's being responsible.

But his challenge isn't necessarily learning how to make beautiful meals.

His challenge is learning that he can buy a few good ingredients, divide them up and turn them into several meals.

He's learning that cooking for yourself doesn't have to mean eating the same thing every night.

And that being careful with money doesn't have to mean living on the cheapest food available.

One Child's Strength Can Teach Another

Something I hadn't really anticipated is how much my sons could learn from one another.

We're a very connected family.

We talk regularly.

We share photographs.

Food comes up quite a bit.

Zen sends what he's made.

We'll talk about what we're eating.

Someone will get an idea from someone else.

And I think that has helped.

Sometimes parents don't have to teach every lesson directly.

Sometimes siblings do it for us.

Seeing his brother create meals shows Yari what's possible.

Not in a competitive way.

More like:

"Oh. I could make that."

And that's powerful.

There's No Such Thing as the "Typical" Student Cook

We often talk about preparing students as though every eighteen- or nineteen-year-old needs exactly the same thing.

But they don't.

One student may already cook full meals.

Another can make toast and cereal.

One will happily experiment with spices.

Another wants five familiar meals on rotation.

One will overspend on food.

Another may become so frugal they stop buying the things that would actually nourish them.

That's why I no longer think the goal before university should be:

Teach them to cook everything.

I think the goal is:

Give them enough confidence to begin.

Ten Meals Can Be Enough

Imagine leaving home knowing that, no matter what happens, you can make ten meals.

Not restaurant meals.

Not Instagram meals.

Just ten things you genuinely know how to cook.

Suddenly the kitchen isn't so intimidating.

You have a foundation.

Then perhaps one of those meals changes.

You add another ingredient.

You try something your flatmate makes.

You call home and ask how Mum makes that chicken you've eaten your whole life.

Little by little, you build your own way of cooking.

That's what I've watched happen with my boys.

And I think it's rather lovely.

We Parents Are Learning Too

I'm also learning to give myself a little grace.

There were plenty of evenings when my sons asked if they could help me cook and I said:

"No, I've got it."

Not because I didn't want to teach them.

Because I was busy.

Three children.

Work.

Schools.

Activities.

A household.

A marriage.

Life.

Sometimes I needed dinner finished in twenty minutes, and turning it into a cooking lesson wasn't realistic.

Would I do some things differently now?

Absolutely.

But parenting is like that.

You don't receive all the wisdom at the beginning.

Some of it arrives after the children have grown.

So now we're learning together.

They are learning how to cook for themselves.

And I'm learning when to advise, when to encourage and when to simply enjoy the photograph of dinner they've proudly sent me.

That's Really What The Student's First Ten Meals Is About

This little guide isn't designed for one particular kind of student.

It's for the adventurous student.

The cautious one.

The student who loves food.

The one who's slightly intimidated by the kitchen.

The one who wants to save money.

And the one who simply needs someone to say:

Start here.

Ten meals.

Ten chances to build confidence.

And then let's see where they take it.

Explore The Student's First Ten Meals in the Before Uni Shop.